I cringe at the thought of anything made with peanut butter and psychoanalysis might suggest I have lingering-dramatic Arachibutyrophobia; a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth.  My tongue still revolts when I think of past abuses with Navy MID-RATS and grade-school lunches loaded up with the likes of peanut-butter-filled celery sticks, brown-goo-jelly sandwiches and peanut butter cookies.  I guess I should have joined the Navy’s boomer submarine service to feast on MID-RATS with hot steak sandwiches and gourmet soups – mess deck scuttlebutt confirmed that submariners got all the best food and it was nice to dream of such a cuisine paradise after throwing my peanut butter surprise MID-RATS into the trash can.  I wonder if the “New” Navy has removed peanut butter from the menu because of rampant peanut allergies in the general population.

Odd thing is I really like salted in the shell peanuts.  Boiled peanuts are a big yuck!    

If confession is good for the soul, here is mine:

PEANUT BUTTER LOVER

NOt

By John Meyers 

A strange tale this to hear it told,

still I have to tell it.

I will not eat peanut butter,

do not like to smell it.

That gooey brown stuff is a paste

that sticks inside my mouth.

It sneaks between my back teeth

where my tongue can’t get it out.

Some people mix it with grape jam

then smear it on their bread.

To find that mess in my lunch bag

is something that I dread.

I’m grateful that I have a choice,

I’ve other foods to choose.

Please offer me NO peanut butter,

You can keep that goo!